Clarify Your Message: Three Steps to Effective Communication

I didn't understand, based on the words that were said. ~ Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion

One of the most common communication mistakes we make, and the easiest to fix, is how to better clarify your message so people understand what we mean to say.

More often than not, when we communicate, the person we are talking to will not really understand what you are trying to say. Or maybe they weren't really listening. Then they don't ask questions to make sure they understand. The result can be misunderstandings, hurt feelings, unanswered requests, and even damaged relationships.

You can increase your understanding by learning three simple steps to help clarify your message.

1) Summarize

The first step to getting your clarifying your message so it will be heard and understood is to summarize the major points of the communication. People don't generally ask for clarification when they are communicating. So, it is your job, to follow up directly after the communication happens.

Simply asking: “Do you understand?” is not enough. The answer will inevitably come back: “yes", which often means "not really”.

You must go back over the major points you are trying to get across say saying something like, "so just to summarize what we talked about.... 1) I will be getting the dogs from the kennel, 2) You will be getting the groceries, and 3) We will meet at the house for dinner at 6." Or, try: so "Let's go back over what we agreed on....." and detail the specifics.

Always recap or summarize, to increase your stances of being understood - or opening up an opportunity for questions so you can clear up anything right away.

2) Document in Writing

When being understood is especially important, after summarizing, follow-up with a written summary of the communication. For meetings, notes should be written up with specific assignments and deadlines and sent as soon as the communication is finished.

If something needs to happen, write it down. Include what needs follow-up and by when.

This step is especially useful in case the situation comes up again,. You can go back to the written communication to revisit what was originally said or agreed upon.

3) Follow Up

Once you've documented the follow-up - make sure you actually do it!

Did you make a plan or ask for something to happen? Did you agree to something? Check back to make sure the message of the communication really was clear and carried out -- before it's too late to make adjustments.

Clarify Your Message By Making Confirmation of Understanding a Habit

If you consciously and consistently use these three steps when you communicate , they will soon begin to become a habit - one that will increase your chances of mastering clear and effective communication on a regular basis.

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